I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have aggressive nipples.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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