I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize