And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize