It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I got inside last night via doggy door
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
