dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
