Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
