She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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