new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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