the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
