you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
A bitchslap is in order.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
