I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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