Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
