my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
