I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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