it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize