Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
