and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
