I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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