He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
