Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
