I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Fuck appropriateness.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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