Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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