Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
