i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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