i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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