I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
