Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
