Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
