And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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