Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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