Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
