Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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