if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
