I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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