I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
