Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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