Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize