so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize