So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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