You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
