where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
