Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
