it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
