For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
People in love make me want to vomit
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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