I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
