I think I won the penis lottery.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
