Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
