so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My dick has a subreddit
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
