YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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