That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Me. At least after what I've been through.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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