told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize