Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Come share oat with me in your robe
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
