It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
