I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
