I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
