"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
