Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
